Lucky 13 Lacquer – Softening the Bad Things
Oh, feels, they are about to happen. It might do well to brace yourself.
I have been trying to write on this post for over three weeks. Every time I think I have something good I reread it and realize that it is either too wordy, too simple, or just plain wrong. How does one go about stripping bare (emotionally) on the internet? Though, with my inability to ever remain calm with my emotions, you would think this would be an easy hurdle for me to jump. Alas, the backspace key has been my best friend throughout this entire process.
I know I mentioned it before, but mental illness is something that touches every last one of us. Even if you do not battle with it personally, someone you know does…even if you yourself are not aware of it. For me personally, it is severe clinical depression and extreme social anxiety that causes panic attacks. Basically, I’m a wreck. If anything good can be said of it, it’s that since I’ve been dealing with these issues since childhood, I have a great understanding of how I will react in certain situations, making myself able to prepare for things. But knowing how I’ll react to something, or feeling a bout of depression or a breakdown coming doesn’t always help. Like a person with epilepsy, they may feel a seizure a coming…but it doesn’t make the outcome any less awful. It just means you can ready yourself.
As a child, before understanding myself, I felt like an outcast (though I can’t say that adulthood took away this feeling entirely), never understanding why I felt the way I did. I didn’t want to play with the other children. I wanted to be alone – drawing or painting. I had a few close friends, but always got extremely uncomfortable and quiet around new faces (a feeling that has never left me). Art and books were my two greatest resources. Ask my mother to this day and she’ll tell you that I was reading books faster than she could buy them. And I was.
And drawing…oh the drawing. Art opened up this entirely new world to me. A way to make my emotions tangible, to take them out of my mind and put them onto paper. This is what started my childhood obsession with Vincent van Gogh. Here was a man who more than likely experienced some of the same emotions I did. Someone who channeled his anxiety and pain into beautiful works of art. He was, and is, an inspiration to me. I know I have shared this on the blog before, but if there’s ever a time to repost, this would be it. Here is a childhood drawing I did when I was 8. After learning about van Gogh, I made it my mission to doodle Starry Night as often as possible. [None of those weird S's made of lines, and scribbled tornadoes for this girl.]
With all of these things in mind, it should come as no surprise that Vincent and the Doctor is my absolute favorite episode of Doctor Who in existence. I am completely blown away with wave after wave of emotion every time I watch. I just can’t put it into words, frankly. It makes me sad…but in the happiest way imaginable. If that makes any sort of sense.
That’s why I immediately teared up when Kyoti came to me with the idea for Softening the Bad Things. I needed this polish. Not like I “need” every polish ever. I actually needed this one. I needed to have this for the days when I’m so downtrodden that I can’t imagine what “happy” feels like anymore. I likewise need it as a reminder for how shitty things really have been, so I can look back and see how far I’ve come. I mean, face it, without bad times in our lives we wouldn’t even know the good times if they were staring us in the face.
I’m currently going through one of those bad times. It sucks, plain and simple. I have no desire to do the basic things. Pants? Not a chance. Brush my hair? If you’re lucky. Want me to actually get out of bed? No. It’s really easy to quip about it, to put a spin of humor on it. Hell, depressed people do humor best – gotta hide those feels so people don’t think you’re crazy. But it really isn’t that funny when you think about it. Being so lethargic and oppressed that you can’t even bring yourself to perform normal daily functions.
But the one good thing to keep in mind, for me at least, is that there will always be more happy times. Sometimes you won’t believe it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. It took me 11 months to find happiness after my dad was diagnosed with, and passed away from cancer. It was this blog that gave it to me, the friends that I’ve made through it, and you, Reader. Even though I’m having a hard time currently, I know that eventually things will brighten back up. They always do. So with the good things (and bad) in mind, let’s check out this tear-inducer.
Softening the Bad Things has an airy blue base with gold hexagons and bronze micro glitters. The formula gave me no issues whatsoever, applying pretty much like a dream, and needing only 2 coats to reach the opacity shown in the photos. Kyoti pulled her inspiration for this lacquer from the altered sunflower painting shown at the very end of the episode. As you can see, she did an amazing job.
This lacquer is also the first ever LE numbered shade that Kyoti has made. Making it even more special is the fact that the font used on the numbered label is one that was created to replicate van Gogh’s own handwriting. In total, there are 26 bottles – 16 full size and 10 shortie size. I am completely honored and teary-eyed about the fact that I have bottle number one. Thank you, Kyoti! <3
To add to this pile of good things, one dollar from each bottle sold will be donated to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). That would be a total of $25 dollars (since 1 of those 26 bottles is Kyoti’s personal bottle). But you can do something more to help. Kyoti will be matching the $25 made in bottle sales, and she is looking for other folks to match her donation. So far, myself included, the donation is up to $250!!! On top of giving you good feelers about helping people, your name will be added to a list of donors on the product’s sale page. You can click here to read all about this wonderful project from Kyoti herself.
One more thing that deems mentioning. Back when this idea first came about, knowing my extreme love of fonts, Kyoti approached me about making a graphic of the quote that inspired this polish. Considering that it’s a quote that has pulled me through some dark times indeed, I jumped at the chance. She and I both have copies of this printed out, ready to be gazed upon when life gets to be a bit too much. I’d like to offer this up for anyone else who might like to do the same. There are two different copies of this photo, since my personal taste varies slightly. Below is my favorite design, featuring arrow embellishments. But if you want a softer look, there’s a copy of the other variation (featuring flourishes) in Kyoti’s post, which was linked above. Oh, and click the image for “holy crap, that’s big” size.
I guess I should go ahead and start wrapping this up. Glob knows I’ve been on the wordy side of emotional for this post. Softening the Bad Things will be released sometime around 2:30 pm (PST) today, and will be available here upon its launch. Definitely check out Lucky 13′s Facebook page so that you can stay totally current on the release time. Considering how few bottles are available, and the interest shown, I can’t imagine these sticking around for long. BUT! If you do miss out, Kyoti is planning a second run sometime in the future.
I really hope this post has helped at least one person. Whether it showed you that you aren’t alone, or that things get better, or that we all have our issues, sadness, and downfalls. Please know that you aren’t going through this by yourself. And if you ever want to talk about things, need advice, or a shoulder to cry on, I’m only an email or facebook message away.
Geek & Love,
This has all been quite feel-y for me. Let’s cheer up with some hugs, Reader.